Personal Stories
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Tasha's Stories
story 1:
i was nursing my son, he must have been around 6 months old at the time... we were in a waiting room at the hospital. he was going to be having some testing done. he was fussing so i started to nurse him. there was an older man and woman in the waiting room, and the older man was looking over at me... my son was nusing, and grunting a little bit... you know, those "satisfied grunts" they make while nursing... anyway, this older man says, "ooooh.... i guess he's liking that!" and it really caught me off guard! i could have taken it a couple of different ways, but we all laughed about it... it was pretty funny!
story 2: (ok 3 stories in 1 LOL)
i gave birth to my first daughter when i was 20. i was young, and scared, and brand new to the whole parenting thing... but i knew that i wanted to breastfeed my baby! my daughter was born at 6:13pm, and she was just crying and crying... i was nursing her but i am not sure about the latch, and it was really starting to hurt me after a few hours. i had at least 6 different nurses coming in and out, checking up on the breastfeeding, and suggesting different "holds" -- but all they were doing was interupting me, and confusing me! they also left us some bottles and formula, "just in case." (this was only 4 years ago, by the way) finally, after trying breastfeeding all night, by morning i was exhausted, in extreme pain, crying, alone... and i handed my baby over to the nurses. i told them to not feed any formula, but instead to let me rest and wake me to feed her if she was hungry. they kept her, and i had a good, LONG rest. in fast, i must have sleep all day. i finally woke up, only to wonder where my baby was, and to find out she was fine... and HAD been fed a bottle of formula several times throughout the day. i was so upset. then, they left me some formula and when i got her back, i tried breastfeeding again. it was too painful, again, i was crying and alone and not sure what to do with this screaming baby! i gave her a bottle, since she had already been "ruined" by having some... i thought i might as well. she loved it. it calmed her down. in fact, she chugged the entire 3oz bottle. i was proud of myself. oh no! she wasn't happy... i had overfed her and fed her too fast! the nurses took her from me to "fix" what i had done... had her sleep with them at the desk that night... and the next day we were allowed to leave the hospital... and because of the bottles they gave her, we never did get breastfeeding to work. i did try... i tried for weeks... we got home and tried. by this point my nipples were cracked, both breasts, and bleeding. when my daughter would spit up, she was spitting up blood from my nipples along with the breastmilk. i was in tears, even after taking tylenol before each feeding. i had various lactation consultants coming over to my house, daily... checking on us, trying to help us. one had brought a syringe, which was helpful... we had to trick my daughter to drink from my breast by squirting some milk into her mouth while at my breast. you see, she already had tried the bottle and it was much easier than breastfeeding... less work... we tried the nipple sheilds, which helped me with the pain. we had to take this silly thing around everywhere we went... what a pain!! i was also pumping my milk, every 4 hours, and bottle feeding to let my nipples heal. this went on for about 2 weeks. finally, after about 4 weeks of non-stop stress, pain, hassle with sheilds, pumps, etc. i chose to bottle feed formula. it was not an easy choice, but i felt that i had to do it for my own sanity and so that my daughter and i could get on with our bonding and not be so stressed... and it did help with that. i made sure that, like breastfeeding, only i was allowed to feed her bottles... i made it as much like breastfeeding as possible. and i still will never forgive those nurses for giving her the bottles when i trusted them not to :(
on a brighter note, i gave birth to my son 17 months after my daughter. i was VERY determined to NOT give him any bottles. i knew this time i would make it work. i gave birth, and my son did not leave my room even once. i told the nurses to leave us alone, and that we were fine. it did hurt a little bit, but i had learned some tips and i was more confident. i also remembered to wear a nursing bra in the hospital! last time i hadn't worn one, and my poor nipples were being rubbed raw just from the hospital gown. they need to be protected! that REALLY helped. but, just the whole experience was different. i was able to stand up for myself, tell the nurses my choices and that i didn't need help with the positioning, i was fine, we were fine. i really didn't have much interaction from the nurses at all. it was like we were left alone in our room to bond, and it was amazing. i have nothing but great memories. we started off great, never once had problems, and continued breastfeeding for 17 months. i weaned because i was pregnant again, and it became too painful at one point in the pregnancy. but i'm so proud of myself, of us! it was an incredible bonding experience and even to this day (my son is now 3 yrs old) things are a bit different between us. my daughter and i are close, but my son is just a cuddler and a real momma's boy! we did have some challanges, such as he had infant reflux, and a swallowing dysfunction. i was told to stop nursing him several times, as he was aspirating the breastmilk. but, incredibly, he never got sick from the breastmilk in his lungs. the doctors said it could have been the very fact that it was breastmilk, and nothing else. very natural. so, i'm also proud that i stood my ground, stood up for breastfeeding when so many doctors told us to quit... just quit! like it is that easy?? it was my son's comfort, the only thing he would take in his mouth until he was 10 months old. he needed me. not to mention it did wonders for my weight loss!
my third child was born in 2005. she was breastfed for 3 days, and then re-admitted to the stollery hospital for aspiration. she also has swallowing dysfunction, similar to my son more severe. they immediately inserted a feeding tube into her nose, and fed her some formula as she was dehydrated. they also stuck an IV into her. then admitted her to hospital. this was one of 6 hospital admissions in her first 6 months of life. this admission we were there for 2 weeks. for those 2 weeks, i pumped my breastmilk and she was fed exclusively breastmilk for those 2 weeks, and then 2 more weeks once we were back home. after the first month, i no longer could pump (with 2 little children and a tube feb newborn at home, i just couldn't keep up!) and she was gradually switched to formula. i still am proud that i was able to give her a bit of a headstart in life, especially when she has had to overcome so many obstacles with her health! she was tube fed for 1 year, and now is doing quite well on thickened liquids by mouth and she eats regular food like a champ! as much as i wanted to breastfeed and was very emotional and sad when i was flat out TOLD i could not nurse my baby, i was at peace with how everything turned out.
those are my 3 stories about breastfeeding... and i now joke and say that i am extensively experienced in bottle feeding, breastfeeding, exclusively pumping, and tube feeding babies! every child is so different but that is what makes it interesting!
Tasha