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Sharon's Story
First, some background…
My son was born prematurely three years ago and spent nearly two weeks in the Intermediate Care Nursery (ICN) at the hospital. He was bottlefed formula and expressed breastmilk (ebm) right from the get go. Long story short, he was completely weaned to formula by the time he was four months old. This was due to a few factors: bad breastfeeding advice, a lack of breastfeeding support, and a birth defect that was not discovered until he was seven months old. Looking back on the situation, I feel no guilt (I did what I could with the knowledge that I had), but I do feel anger and still wonder to this day “what if…”.
Initial breastfeeding problems…
When Emma was born one year ago (on New Year’s Eve), I was more determined than ever to breastfeed. I had armed myself with reliable information and surrounded myself with fabulous breastfeeding friends who were more than willing to help me out. Unfortunately, things did not get off to a great start. Due to the holidays and busy postpartum ward, I was not given very much help by the nurses (understandably). Even more unfortunately, instead of trying to help a very frustrated Emma and I establish a good latch (I have very flat nipples and Emma has a very fiery temper), I was simply given a nipple shield, breast pump, and bottles of formula. When I argued with the nurses and lactation consultant (LC) regarding giving Emma bottles, I was told “There’s no such thing as nipple confusion; it’s an issue of preference” (ummmm, exactly, which is precisely why I did NOT want her to be given bottles), and “She has to be given formula because she isn’t getting anything from you. Her blood sugars will get messed up and cause serious problems.”. I finally felt so berated, frustrated and exhausted that I didn’t have enough energy to argue anymore and Emma was given bottles.
Twenty four hours or so later, Dr. W (she delivered Emma) came to check on us and I told her what the nurses and LC had said. I was so relieved to hear her say that she completely agreed with me! She suggested that I use a syringe to feed Emma a tiny bit of formula (only if really necessary) after trying to latch her on. That way, I wouldn’t have to worry about nipple preference. Much to my relief (and excitement!!), Dr. W was also able to get Emma to latch on for about a minute with no nipple shield. That gave me hope.
Postpartum Depression…
Five days after Emma’s birth, the same doctor reassured me that breastmilk from a mother on antidepressants was still better than formula. I would be able to treat my severe postpartum depression and continue breastfeeding without concern. Another relief! However, things were not going very well on the home front. Well meaning relatives were encouraging me to give Emma a bottle so that I could have a break. What I tried to explain (and they couldn’t understand) was that I KNEW breastfeeding would be so much easier than bottlefeeding in the long run. Sure, my mental health was suffering at that point, but switching to bottles would make things MUCH worse (and my mental health would be suffering at that point whether Emma was getting the breast or a bottle).
Reflux…
I knew that I would need more help to keep us on the right track once we got home, so I contacted a private LC. She was very helpful and reassuring and suggested that part of Emma’s problem might be reflux (which I already suspected). Emma was put on Losec at her two week appointment. Reflux has caused its own breastfeeding difficulties. For one thing, feeding Emma has always been a bit “messy” to say the least. She would eat and then spit up a lot of breastmilk (to give you an idea of the amount, we used receiving blankets as burp rags). It also caused her a great deal of pain. She would eat and fall asleep peacefully for about 10 minutes, then she would startle awake, arching her back and shrieking at the top of her lungs inconsolably. Because she was growing so rapidly, it was difficult to keep her Losec dosage where it needed to be. Breastfeeding is much better for babies with reflux as the milk is digested much easier than formula. I also found out (months after it was no longer an issue, of course) that babies with reflux often want to nurse CONSTANTLY. This is for a couple of reasons. Firstly, the breastmilk soothes the baby’s heartburn and secondly, when a baby is sucking, the stomach empties faster thus reducing the likelihood of spitting up. Finally, at twelve months, she has been weaned off the Losec and is no longer having problems with reflux.
The dreaded nipple shield…
Both reflux and the nipple shield caused Emma to nurse basically nonstop…hours at a time. Nighttime feeds usually took 3 hours; a two hour feed was a treat! I recorded and caught up on a lot of tv shows in the time being (cosleeping did not work for us). I began having an issue with my milk supply when Emma was about 4 _ or 5 months old. It started out with a bad case of Strep Throat for me; I wasn’t eating or drinking enough because my throat was so sore. The nipple shield made it difficult for my supply to recover. I started drinking more water, eating oatmeal for breakfast every morning and taking Fenugreek. Thankfully, my supply rebounded and all was well again. At least all was well until Emma’s six month checkup (she had it at five months). At that time the doctor said Emma wasn’t gaining enough weight and I should either supplement with formula or solids. Suffice it to say that I disagreed with her assessment, did not give Emma formula or solids (both of which have FEWER calories than breastmilk!) and she had gained quite a bit of weight at her appointment the next month.
Two great days in our breastfeeding relationship…
Great Day Number One was nursing in public (NIP) for the very first time. The nipple shield made being discreet more difficult, but we managed to do it in the cafeteria of the University Hospital. Up until that point I had only nursed at home or in the company of very good breastfeeding friends.
After repeatedly trying to wean Emma off of the nipple shield, I had given up all hope by the time she was about six months old. Then Great Day Number Two arrived. Emma got mad while nursing and pulled off, taking the shield with her. Before I had a chance to put it back on, she had latched without it. I was thrilled. For the first time ever, she nursed without the shield for a whopping five minutes!!!! Over the next few weeks we nursed sans shield more and more often, until she was completely weaned off by the seven month mark. She’s now twelve months old and we haven’t needed the shield since.
A few minor bumps along the way…
Just to keep things interesting, Emma and I have also dealt with repeated bouts of Thrush (currently battling it right now for the 4th or so time) as well as Reynaud’s Phenomenon (a circulation disorder). Both are painful, but treatable. We’ve used Gentian Violet to deal with the Thrush and I take vitamin B6 to deal with the Reynaud’s. (The pic is of Emma and her Gentian Violet Smile)
Twelve months and counting…
Despite the hurdles we have encountered along the way, I’m THRILLED to still be breastfeeding past the twelve month mark. Even considering the pain and frustration, I’m so glad I persevered. I will be allowing Emma to self-wean when she’s ready, which I really don’t expect to be anytime soon.