Personal Stories
Karen's Stories Michele's Stories Sarah's Stories Tasha's Stories Sharon's Story Tammy's Story Jennifer's Story Serinda's Story
Michele's Stories
My breastfeeding story probably starts out like a lot of other women's. When I was pregnant with my first I knew I would breastfeed, I had no idea how to do it and no one volunteered any information but I figured that the nurses in the hospital would show me. Boy was I wrong. When I went for one of my first OB appointments for my first pregnancy the Dr. asked me if I wanted to breastfeed, I said yes, he examined my breasts and said "You won't have any problems" and that was the extent of our conversation about breastfeeding. Up until then I didn't really know anyone who had breastfed, just a couple of friends who had "tried it" for about 6 weeks and given up because "I couldn't produce enough milk" and my mother couldn't breastfeed us so I didn't have anyone knowledgeable to help me. I didn't know that there were lactation consultants or that La Leche League existed. All the pregnancy and baby care books I read had very basic breastfeeding information, none of them said that I could have problems that would need professional help.
On December 27th 1993 I gave birth to Arran James Henry, a perfect 7 lb 6 oz baby boy who couldn't keep his eyes open because of the Demerol I had while in my induced labor. I didn't know that I was supposed to offer him the breast right away, when the nurse asked me in the delivery room (after they had cleaned and weighed him) if I wanted to nurse him before we were brought up to our room I said "no" because I was nervous about breastfeeding in front of the Dr. and nurses and Jamie and my mom. I didn't want to look stupid plus, because he was so sleepy he didn't look like he wanted to be woken up to nurse. He was born at 10:56 pm, by the time we were settled in our room it was after midnight, one nurse tried to help me get him latched on but he was so sleepy it didn't work so she took him to the nursery so I could sleep. He was brought to me to be fed around 4 am, the nurse left me alone with him and I again tried to get him to latch on. I thought we were doing OK, he seemed to be suckling and after 15 minutes or so I felt pretty good about it. He fell back asleep and I put him in his isolet next to my bed. A few hours later a nurse came in and asked how we were doing, I said that I had nursed him. She wanted to watch me feed him to make sure we were "doing it right" so I latched him on again and I still thought we were doing it right but she said he wasn't latched on properly because his jaw wasn't moving. She unlatched him and started fussing with him to get him latched on right and all he would do is scream. From then on whenever I needed to feed him I had to wait for a nurse to help me, we would get him latched on, he would suck once, spit me out and scream. The nurses were getting frustrated with us and they didn't really have many suggestions other than changing positions or getting me to try pumping as if I couldn't produce enough milk. They did try me with the SNS (supplemental nursing system) to see if we could get him to suck on my breast while receiving formula through a tube because they said that he "was the type of baby that wanted instant gratification, he didn't want to work for the breast milk". It didn't work. Looking back I'd like to know how a newborn would know that....No one suggested that we might benefit from a lactation consultant. No one told me of the existence of La Leche League. My mother was upset and kept saying "just put him on a bottle". 
All I could do was cry. We were in the hospital for three days trying to get him to breastfeed without success. They wouldn't let me leave with him until they saw him feeding, which meant giving him bottles of formula. By the time we left the hospital my son was 100% formula fed. I did try for about a week to pump my milk with a borrowed pump so that he could at least benefit from the colostrum, but it was a futile effort, I only ever got about an ounce a day and I gave up. Arran was switched to a soy formula at two months because he had colic and he stayed on that nasty smelling stuff until his first birthday. He was rarely sick and grew like a weed, always in the 95 percentile on the growth charts. When he was about two I stopped feeling guilty about not being able to breastfeed him, after all, he was healthy and happy and guilt is a useless, negative emotion.
On December 5th 1997 I gave birth to Keely Paige, a healthy 8 lb 2 oz baby girl. I had spent that entire pregnancy reading about breastfeeding and I borrowed videos from the library. By the time I became pregnant with her we had moved from north of Toronto, Ontario to Edmonton, Alberta. I had met other mothers who had breastfed and I had found an OB who was very supportive of breastfeeding and a hospital to deliver at that was very breastfeeding friendly. The nurses were all trained in lactation and I was very confident that I would breastfeed Keely for at least 6 months. That was my goal, 6 months. Just before she was born the CPS (Canadian Paediatric Society) had come out with its new breastfeeding guidelines that stated
"Breast milk is the best food you can offer your infant. You can breastfeed until your child is two years of age and beyond."
This got me thinking.....maybe I can breastfeed her until she's one. But I really didn't have a lot of confidence in my ability to do it at that point and my "realistic" goal was still 6 months. When she was born I nursed her within a half hour with the help of a nurse. She latched on perfectly. We weren't having any problems at all but I opted to stay in the hospital for an extra day, I wanted help close by just in case. Keely was slightly jaundiced when we left hospital and I was told to nurse her frequently, the more she nursed, the sooner the jaundice would pass. I spent the first day home freaking out if she slept more than 3 hours at a stretch, waking her to feed. Alberta has a program that sends community health nurses to your home about 24 hours after you are discharged from the hospital to make sure you and baby are doing well. They check baby for signs of jaundice and show you what to look for, they also perform any tests that weren't done before you were discharged and they watch a breastfeeding session to make sure you are comfortable doing it and not having any problems. For mom, they examine you to make sure you are healing properly after the birth and they answer any questions you have and leave you a couple of phone numbers to call 24 hours a day if you have any questions or concerns. The first nurse came with another nurse and someone else (to this day I have no idea who this person was or why they were there, they never said anything - supervisor maybe?) After checking Keely's jaundice in a window and showing me how, she spent an inordinate amount of time feeling Keely's soft spots and listening to her breathing, but she didn't say a word to me at the time. She called me later that day and said that they would be sending another nurse over the next day to examine Keely again because she couldn't feel Keely's soft spot on the back of her head and her breathing had gaps in it. I was holding Keely during this phone call and I felt the back of her head, I felt the soft spot..... the next day nurse Kathleen came. She felt Keely's head and said "I feel the soft spot, see there it is" and she pointed it out to me. She listened to Keely's breathing for a long time and finally concluded that there was nothing abnormal about it. She said she had no idea what the nurse the day before was thinking lol Kathleen was so nice and confident and she had a lovely Irish accent, she quickly became my favourite community health nurse. She even told me how to pronounce Keely properly (Keyley - we had been saying Keel-ley). This nurse never failed to come up to me when she saw me breastfeeding Keely at the health center and congratulating me on doing it that long, it was a real lift to my spirits.
The only problem we have ever encountered with Keely in regards to breastfeeding was her refusal to accept an artificial nipple of any kind. Looking back I'm glad she refused because it allowed me the excuse to continue nursing her when others questioned us "how long are you going to breastfeed her?" I wanted to wait until she was at least seven weeks old before I tried her on a bottle, I didn't want to risk nipple confusion. The only reason I wanted her to take a bottle was that I really wanted to see the movie Titanic while it was still in the theater and I thought if I could get her to take a bottle Jamie and I could go out for the evening. I spent a few weeks pumping with my Evenflo electric pump, getting 1-2 ounces per session. I had all these itty bitty bags of breast milk in the freezer and when Keely hit seven weeks we tried giving her the EBM (expressed breast milk) in a Playtex Nurser. 
As soon as we put the nipple in her mouth she would open her mouth wide and scream like a banshee, she refused to close her mouth over anything hard and rubber. We tried me giving her the bottle, we tried Jamie giving her the bottle, we tried different nipples and even using some of the free formula that we had received in the mail. We tried giving it to her when she was hungry and when she wasn't hungry. We tried on and off over a period of four weeks and then we came to the conclusion that we should respect Keely's wishes and one afternoon we packed up both the kids and took off for the movies. We decided that a trial run of The Borrowers was in order. We sat at the back on the isle, she did great, she sat on our laps, she nursed, she slept. Not a peep out of her :-) The next weekend Jamie and I took her with us to see Titanic. Again, she sat on our laps, she nursed, she slept, she nursed and slept some more. At the end of the movie she got a bit fussy and Jamie stood at the back and rocked her and she settled down. We learned a valuable lesson, breastfed babies are portable! You can take them anywhere as long as you bring along a few diapers.
Here's my funny breastfeeding in public story. Keely was only a few months old and at the age when she wanted to be fed, she wanted to be fed NOW. We were at a McD's in Wal-Mart and I ordered all our food but they were out of the pie flavour I wanted so I had to wait for them to make another flavour. The young guy behind the counter said he would bring it out to us. So, we sat down to start eating and Keely wanted to be fed, I had her under a blanket but you could tell, with the little feet sticking out, what was going on. The young guy comes over to tell me that they dropped the entire batch of pies on the floor, would I like another kind of desert? But he figured out right away what I was doing and couldn't look me in the eye, he started turning red. Jamie is about to pee himself laughing at this point. I looked at him and talked to him very casually trying to relax him. We went through an entire conversation about me picking a McFlurry instead, with him looking between the ceiling and the table, then he goes to get it and has to come back because they were out of those funny straws they use to make them, by this time Keely was done and sitting in her car seat but he still couldn't look me in the eye and was squirming. I forget what I ended up with but I'll always remember the poor kid, it was just not his day lol.
When Keely was six months old, I looked at her and thought "I can't imagine weaning her now, she's still such a baby" and I never looked back, not when my mother asked "how long are you going to breastfeed her?" and especially not when my mother-in-law commented when Keely started eating solids "well then, she won't need you anymore". Keely wasn't really interested in solids until she was about 10 months old so she was exclusively breastfed until then with just the occasional spoonful of solid food or Arrowroot cookie. When she started eating solids she did so with a vengeance, she loves food, she will try anything. On her first birthday we had a party and we got so caught up in the day that we both forgot to nurse - holiday weaning. After that Keely really cut down on her daytime nursing sessions. One draw back to that was the arrival three weeks later of my period. I had really enjoyed the 22 months of freedom.
When we brought her home from the hospital, we tried parenting her like we did Arran, that is, baby in own room in crib waiting for the magic night when she sleeps though.....Well, with a breastfed baby it doesn't work that way. I spent her first six months getting up 4-5 times a night and going into her room and nursing her in a chair or laying down in the twin bed with her. Eventually I came to the conclusion that if I laid down with her I actually could sleep through the feedings. With more sleep I started feeling more human. When she was six to seven months old I started bringing her into our bed and she would sleep between Jamie and I or between a side rail and me. After a few trial sleeping arrangements, we settled on a side-car arrangement when she was about one year old. Keely weaned on August 12, 2001, which was when she was just over 3 1/2, the last 18 months of that was spent tandem nursing with her younger brother.
Our third child Rowan was of course breastfed and he slept with us from day one, when you know better, you do better, Rowan Dale Patrick, was born March 15, 2000. He was a nursing pro like his sister, I was a lot more confident breastfeeding him and did not use blankets to cover myself up when nursing in public. I made great use of my MayaWrap sling for that purpose. I had to deal with a few plugged ducts and a case of thrush with him but we got through it. I also had oversupply with him, which led to him having oversupply colic or foremilk-hindmilk imbalance. When he was 6 weeks old he developed colic, was very gassy, puked in our bed because he was getting way too much milk. I was told by a few people to eliminate dairy but I had a feeling that wasn't it. I did some reading and found out about Over Supply Syndrome Colic and realized that we had 80% of the symptoms listed. I treated us by getting Rowan weighed at the health center and I talked to a community health nurse, I used her as my sounding board. She had never heard of this term but was interested in how we worked it out. You are supposed to watch their weight gain when you start treating this because some babies actually lose weight, Rowan gained 8 oz in the first week of treatment so I knew we were doing ok :-) I would express the first letdown into a cloth diaper or receiving blanket. I also switched breasts every three hours, for example every time he wanted to nurse between 8 and 11 am I would nurse him on the left side, after 11 am for the next 3 hours I would nurse him on the right (I had been switching sides every time he nursed before this but it didn't help) I also offered him a soother then because he wanted to nurse all night and was puking in our bed. He took the soother well and it never interfered with his latch. It only took a few days for me to notice a significant difference in his colic symptoms and my forceful letdown. After a couple of weeks I stopped switching sides every three hours and went back to switching every time he nursed. He stopped using the soother when he was 6 months old. 
Rowan weaned Christmas Eve 2004, when he was almost 5 y/o, I never really thought I’d nurse that long, but when you are going day by day you just don’t notice.
I may not have been able to breastfeed Arran but I am happy to say that he has come to learn that breastfeeding is the normal way to feed a baby and he will not be embarrassed to see a mother nursing in public and he will be supportive of his wife about breastfeeding, if he decided to marry and have children that is. Hopefully by the time my children are having children the tide in infant feeding will have shifted even further away from bottles and formula and they won't have to deal with the criticism so many mothers have to deal with today. They won't be concerned about passing legislation to make breastfeeding in public legal and not indecent exposure and they won't be told to breastfeed in the bathroom.
Michele